Scorned Page 27

  “You probably didn’t have that many cops here when it happened.”

  “Plus the Lieutenant has everyone on high alert right now,” James added. He’s got every cop in the county either at your house or on their way here.

  “It’s all right Ali. Go, I’ll be fine.”

  I walked down the hall and entered a closed off room. A man I had never seen before, sat at wooden table jotting things down on a legal pad. He was dressed in a crumpled black suit and had salt and pepper hair that was kept short. The wrinkles on his face told me he was easily fifty or older and that he had done more than his time on the force.

  “Evening Detective,” he said in a deep monotone type of voice. “I know this isn’t the best time to do this, but we must stick to protocol.”

  I understood the procedure. They needed a statement from me for a few reasons. The first was to gather as much info about what happened as possible before things were “forgotten.” Another reason was because Rodney had fired his weapon and they needed to consult everyone present about what happened leading up to and after the shooting occurred.

  I took a seat across from the man as he jotted my name on a clean piece of paper. “I’m sorry; who are you?”

  “My name is Captain Braden Braun.” His name rang a bell, but I couldn’t put a finger on where I knew him from. “Now Detective Ryan, please walk me through what happened tonight.”

  And so I did. Captain Braun and I sat in the small confined room discussing every moment from Dr. Cain’s arrest, to the flowers being found in the backseat of my car and on my desk, to the moments leading up to and after I heard the gunshot. The half hour it took James to get through seemed like ten minutes compared to the hour long discussion I had with the Captain.

  I won’t deny it, I broke down in front of him when talking about rushing back to my house. Every moment we spent looking for a switch that worked or trying to turn on the TV for some source of light was time that we could’ve spent checking the rest of the house and stopping Rodney from killing Matthew. Truth be told, I was starting to blame myself as much as I did my partner.

  I exited the room with a soggy tissue in my hand and tears staining my face. I walked down the hall, but not towards Amanda. I stumbled back to the interrogation room, finding Rodney, Lieutenant Esposito and another man, most likely from I.A. sitting across from each other.

  I stepped behind the glass and listened to them. This was a bad move on my part. A war was raging inside of me that was chomping at the bit to explode. I loved Rodney, he was like a brother to me. He’s been my partner for years. I trusted him, relied on him, and depended on him to have my back every time we left that station together. We’ve spent holidays together with his wife and daughter and even hung out just because we were bored. So for me to not be by his side in this kind of situation is one of the worst feelings in the world. But he shot Matthew. Matthew, the man I love, the man I actually saw a future with. Any chance at getting a happily ever after was ripped away and destroyed the instant Rodney pulled that trigger.

  I listened to him tell the Lieutenant his side of things. He was sticking to the story of someone attacking him before the gunshot, and how he doesn’t recall ever firing his weapon. I wanted to scream, liar, you’re a fucking liar. You’re just saying that to save your career and your ass from going to prison. My mind was made up, and I was about to tear him a new one, but was stopped when two people blocked me from going near the door.

  “Don’t do it Ali,” James said.

  Amanda stood off to his right shaking her head. “Get out of my way,” I shouted. “I need to get in there.”

  “And do what, ruin your friendship?”

  “How can I be friends with someone that murdered the man that I love?” I looked back at the mirror and saw three heads turn towards us. They couldn’t see what was going on, and I’m sure they couldn’t hear everything that was being said. But they heard something, even if it was muffled, it was enough to stop them in mid-conversation and wonder what was going on.

  The Lieutenant stood up and opened the door. “Detective, what are you doing here? You are not on this investigation and are not authorized to hear this interview.”

  “I have every right to hear this. He shot Matthew. I was there. I saw the gun in his hand.” My words carried into the room and saw Rodney break down in front of the man from I.A. It didn’t faze me. I had no sympathy for him. He deserved to know what I thought of him and planned on letting him know it.

  I lunged for the door, but James threw his arms around me and pinned me against the opposing wall. “You trying to lose your job on top of everything else tonight?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters to me.”

  “And me too,” Amanda replied softly.

  They looked to the Lieutenant for his comment. “Yeah, me too. You’re a pain in my ass, but a damn good cop. I don’t wanna lose you.”

  James pressed his nose up against mine. He was too close for comfort and swore he was trying to kiss me again. Instead he looked me straight in the eyes as if we were the only people in the room at that moment. “Let me take you and Amanda someplace safe for the night. We can worry about everything else later.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip while trying to break free from James’s grasp. He was strong and wouldn’t let me go until I agreed to leave the station with him.

  “Fine,” I said dismissively. James let go of my wrists, but kept his stance in front of me. Amanda ran to my side and placed her arms around my waist as the three of us walked to the parking lot. “Where are we going,” I asked.

  “My place; you’ll be safe there.” I raised an eyebrow at him, questioning his motives. “Relax, I won’t try anything. You girls can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “You take one step near that bedroom and I’ll chop off your little friend.” My eyes lowered to his pants. I think he got the message.

  Epilogue

  It had been a week since Matthew’s death. I had been placed on leave to give me time to grieve as well as it being their way of keeping me away from Rodney’s case. Lieutenant Esposito knew if I could, I’d be heavily involved in the investigation, but would be nothing but conflicted until a decision was made. Rodney was also placed on leave, pending the results of the investigation. I expected I.A. to suspend him at the very least. In the ten years Rodney had been on the force, he had a clean record, no disciplinary actions taken against him, and had never fired his weapon in the line of duty. Why’d he have to do it this time?

  I didn’t miss the station though, not like last time. Any thought about going on patrol or working the case reminded me of Rodney, or the crime scene that had people going in and out of my house every minute of the day, or the giant blood stain on Amanda’s floor that belonged to Matthew. So obviously I was in no rush to get back to work.

  I decided lying in bed all day was the better alternative. Okay, lying in bed was an understatement. It was more like curled up in a fetal position while burying my face into the pillow and cried myself to sleep every few hours. Amanda stayed by my side through it all. She tried getting me to snap out of my depressed state.

  James had been nothing but a complete gentleman throughout the week. He never tried making a move the entire time I was there. In fact, the only time I saw him was when he brought in food to make sure I didn’t starve myself to death. He was actually quite the cook. The man worked long shifts with the D.C.P.D. came home and took care of me while keeping Amanda company. Surprisingly, they got along just fine. They palled around and watched movies or her crappy reality shows that you couldn’t pay me enough to watch. I was happy they had fun together. I just wish I could be out there with them enjoying the laughter. It was just something I was incapable of doing at that time.

  Matthew’s funeral came sooner than I thought. His family was quick to plan everything. They were fueled by their anger towards Rodney and the sadness they felt for their son. I was living the same night
mare.

  On the day of the funeral, I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. I dragged my feet across the room and opened it. A beautiful black dress hung in the air before dipping down to reveal the man holding it.

  “I thought you might want something nicer to wear than your sweatpants,” James said jokingly.

  “How-how did you know my size?”

  “I didn’t, your sister went with me and helped pick it out.” He placed the clear plastic wrapped dress in my arms.

  “Thank you, it’s beautiful. But you shouldn’t have.”

  “You needed something to wear for the funeral.” With the word “funeral” my eyes started to water. “I’m sorry,” he repeatedly said. His kind, warm, gentle hands grasped my shoulders. “I didn’t mean to…”

  I sat the dress down on the bed and embraced James. “It’s not you,” I sobbed into his chest. “This is just…too much for me to handle.”

  “I know Ali, but your sister and I are both here for you. You can vent to us. You can let it all out. You can be…you.”

  “I just can’t believe he’s gone. I loved him. Part of me always thought we’d end up together, even if it meant me leaving the force.” The flood gates were opened and I was spilling all of my feelings, all of my thoughts, and my tears out for James to see. It was weird to confide in him. He spent the last month and a half trying to impress me or hit on me. I thought he was nothing but a complete sleaze, but it turned out he was one of the good guys.

  We sat and talked for an hour, well, I mostly talked and he listened. But he did make a few comments that made me laugh and helped me push the depression away for a little while. Then he left me alone to get ready. The hot water from the shower felt great against my skin. I stood under the water for several minutes and enjoyed having a brief moment of normalcy in my life again, even if it came in the form of taking a shower.

  When I emerged from the bathroom, I found a shoe box sitting at the foot of the bed. A yellow post-it note sat on top of it.

  I pulled some strings and got permission to take Amanda back to your house. We agreed these would pair nicely with your dress.

  -James

  I opened the lid and found one of my favorite pair of black pumps. They were simple and classy. They had a three inch heel which boosted my height up to around five-eleven or six feet depending on how I stood. The heel and toe sections of the shoe were closed off, but the sides were open. And it had a strap that wrapped around my ankles.

  After getting dressed and ready, I met James and Amanda in the living room. They both stared at me as if this was the first time they ever saw me wear a dress.

  “Ali, you look incredible,” Amanda said.

  “Yeah, you look gorgeous,” James replied.

  I blushed and enjoyed the moment of attention that made me feel like a person again. But I couldn’t help notice the outfit was something that reminded me a lot of my first date with Matthew. In fact I swore those were the same shoes I wore on that date. I remembered because Matthew’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw me in them. I think he was one of the first guys that stared at my legs and feet rather than my chest. But once we sat down, his focus was directly on me. His eyes looked longingly into mine. Neither of us wanted to turn away or let the night end. That was how I wanted to remember him. I wanted to remember the man that treated me like I was the most important thing in the world to him.

  “Are we all set,” James asked.

  “Yeah,” I said nervously.

  Amanda put her arms around my side. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do this you know. People will understand.”

  “No, I’m sure. I need to be there. I need to see him one last time.”

  **************************************************************

  Matthew’s family didn’t make his death into a huge production like you would think. And the media was quiet about the shooting. I guess a black detective shooting another man of color didn’t scream newsworthy or attention grabber to them. It was downplayed on the news and all the morning shows, but it didn’t prevent a large crowd of people forming at the cemetery.

  I had never met Matthew’s family before then. There was too much that happened over the last year that interfered with those plans. But I knew his mother by sight. He had shown me pictures of his family and introduced me to her over the phone.

  I walked towards his mother with my head bowed. “Mrs. Alvarado, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Tears filled her eyes as she nodded and reached for my hand. “I’m Detective…”

  “Ali? Ali Ryan,” she said with a thick Puerto Rican Accent. There was a momentary sign of life in her as she threw her arms around my neck. “My boy never shut up about you. He told me all about his beautiful hot shot detective girlfriend.” Mrs. Alvarado opened her purse and pulled out a picture from her bag. She held it up so I could see. “Matthew, he always told me how happy you made him.” The picture she was holding was one of Matthew and I dressed up nicely on our way to dinner. It was taken while I was on desk duty.

  “Matthew was the best thing that ever happened to me.” And he was. I never knew what loving someone meant until I met him. “I loved your son. I still love him.”

  Mrs. Alvarado took my hand and placed it over my heart. “He will always be with you wherever you go.” Neither of us could speak without the other crying. It was the most emotion I’ve displayed in front of anyone since I was a kid. Amanda cleared her throat and Mrs. Alvarado swiveled her head to stare. Her smile widened. “Is this, your sister?”

  I placed and arm on Amanda’s shoulder and brought her closer. “Yes, this is Amanda.” Having her there meant the world to me, and apparently it meant a great deal to Matthew’s mother as well.

  “We must have dinner before we go,” Mrs. Alvarado said. Although, it wasn’t as much of a suggestion as it was ordering us.

  “Sure, we’d love that.” I slipped her my card and told her to call my cell to set something up. We hugged one more time before trying to find a spot in the crowd with the rest of the mourners.

  “No, you stay here with us,” she commanded. “He loved you, and I love you. He would want you to stand with us and celebrate his life.” I did as I was told and Amanda stuck to my side. We watched the parade of people walk by offering their sympathy and condolences.

  We sat with Matthew’s family as the funeral proceeded. Halfway through, I started getting a weird creepy feeling like someone was watching me. I turned my head and found Rodney lurking in the back of the crowd. Anger and rage burned through me. I wanted to jump up from my seat and point out he was the reason Matthew wasn’t with us. He was the bastard that killed him. Amanda must have sensed the change in my mood. Her head turned and saw Rodney looking over at us as well.

  “Just let it go Ali,” she said.”

  “How can you say that after everything that happened?”

  “Because Matthew wouldn’t want you to make a scene.”

  I hated when she was right. I sunk back into my chair and waited until the funeral ended and the crowd thinned out. I didn’t have to hunt him down to give him a piece of my mind. Rodney hung back until the right moment and then marched over to me.

  “Look, I know you’re pissed at me right now.”

  “Pissed isn’t the word,” I hissed. “You have no right being here.”

  “No, but you wouldn’t answer any of my texts or calls. Listen, we need to talk. Just give me five minutes.”

  “I’ve got nothing to say and want nothing to do with you.” I attempted to walk away. Just don’t cause a scene Ali, I reminded myself.

  He tugged on my arm until I was face to face with him. “You have to listen to me. I didn’t pull the trigger.”

  “Oh, now you suddenly remember you didn’t pull the trigger? What else did you just suddenly remember?”

  “Everything about that night is still a blur. It was dark and I couldn’t see where I was going. But I know I didn’t pull that trigger.”

  My
eyes leered at him. I wanted to rip him apart just for standing next to me denying his involvement in Matthew’s murder. “How can you say that? How can you be so sure when you’ve repeatedly said you don’t remember anything from the time you entered Amanda’s room to the time I found you?”

  After giving my statement, the Lieutenant drove me to the hospital. He wanted me to prove I was attacked. So we had some tests run. The results showed trauma to the back of my head and a minor concussion.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything. You could’ve done that to yourself.”

  “You really think I’d bash my own head in to cover up an accidental shooting? Come on Ali; you know me better than that.”

  “I don’t know what I believe any more.” I saw the hurt in Rodney’s face. The only person he was truly friends with on the force turned their back on him. He was facing homicide charges and didn’t have any support from those closest to him. “I’m sorry Rodney, but I think you should just keep your distance for now.”

  I walked away, but had the eerie feeling that I was being watched again. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Rodney standing off in the distance. Was he the one I was getting the bad vibes from? Was he the one sending me the flowers? Or was there a psychopath still out there biding his time?